Thursday, March 17, 2011

Tears of Joy

Absolute helplessness was what I experienced today after a long time. A series of events were to reach culmination, mind you, ‘were’ and then I hit the wall. No door, no window, not even a crack. All thanks to, the ‘sarkari mulazim’ (what kinda mulazims are these people, who boss around all day?) at the passport office, Chandigarh. After weeks of running around and a lot of under the table payments to get birth certificate, verification certificate, endless affidavit and finally an appointment at the passport office, it all fell flat, for lack of one signature. To no avail, I pleaded to the sarkari mulazim (who was busy dreaming of lunch) to consider my case as urgent in nature. Subjected to an indifferent attitude and a determined NO, I just plonked on the chair.

The helplessness, futility and absurdity of the situation got better of me. I felt a wetness of my cheeks, and realised I was crying; a phenomenon that had almost become alien to me. Managing a baby, a long distance relationship and a host of other relationships, an almost-in-tatters job, and an effort to keep my thought process alive, emotions had moved to the back burner. Odd, as it may seem, even in this crazily frustrating situation I welcomed these tears.

For sitting dejected outside the passport office, I had reconnected to my old self.


Brijender Singh said...

Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion.

I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward.

Saryu Bansal said...

i absolutely agree, albeit tears represent emotions better, laughter generally hides them.

Brijender Singh said...

Like someone said, i am not funny-what i am is brave !

Saryu Bansal said...

bravery is subjective- being able to express ur emotions too is considered to be a courageous act. it all depends on which side do u want to be.